This was beyond a doubt the weirdest experience Carter Hayes had ever had and he’d once spent six hours on a green screen sound stage wearing a CGI suit and pretending to fight a one-eyed zombie giant with poisonous farts.
When he’d turned the corner and found the cute blonde giggling to herself as she pulled one pair of pants after another out of a suitcase, he thought she might be a little touched, as his grandmother used to say. When she held one pair up in the air and declared she was freeing Grace’s sexy thighs, he figured she was drunk already. And just when he thought it couldn’t get more bizarre, she managed to pull him in as an accessory to pants theft and now she wanted him to shove four pairs of pants down his shirt?
This was a mistake. It would only draw attention to himself when he was supposed to be observing others, not be observed. The last thing he needed was for anyone to realize that he wasn’t mild mannered dental laboratory technician Carter Van Stettle from Iowa. This cruise was his opportunity to prove to indie-darling director Kennedy Howard that he could disappear into a part, that movie goers could look up at the big screen and see him as anyone other than The Admiral.
He was all ready to return the pants to their rightful owner and be on his way. It was the smart thing to do. Then, the thief beside him said please and, well, one could only play the most debonair superhero to ever top the box office for so long before some of the character stuck to them. He stuffed the stupid pants up his shirt and tucked the hem of it into his shorts to keep them from falling out. The special effects team on his last movie would have laughed their asses off, but the pants’ paunch effect was actually pretty good.